Day 48 - February 18, 2009

My big little man starts piano lessons in a few days. Yes, I WAS going to teach him myself. However, after thinking long and hard about it, I just knew we wouldn't be successful. At all. While I was pondering all of this, an ad appeared in the paper from our school's music teacher announcing that she would be teaching private lessons again. She's amazing, and I just knew I couldn't pass it up.

Will he last? Who knows. I hope he does, but I'm also trying to figure out how to make 14 years of piano lessons NOT-traumatizing. For me it was. Did I learn? Yes. Can I play? Mmmm....sort of. :) But I hated every.single.stinking.minute because I was tired and worn out and I hated most of the music my teacher made me play. It got worse the harder the music got.

I hated the recitals. I can't memorize to save my life and my teacher only believed in performing from memory. Talk about anxiety. When I get super nervous about something, the feeling takes me flooding back like I'm in a time machine, to the pre-recital jitters. I get sick thinking about it. However, I am eternally grateful to my Mom for fighting with me over it and making me stick with it. I am truly glad that I have a little of that knowledge base to cling to yet today. I know it was a bigger sacrifice on her part than it was on mine, and I'm so glad she didn't give up on me.

This picture was taken after my Mom gussied me up for a recital in Rapid City. I was too dumb to be nervous because it might have been my first one. Maybe I was, but I don't remember this one in particular. I also don't know what was worse - the dress I was wearing, my orphan Annie hair, the couch I was sitting on, or the recital itself. I will say though, that looking back is embarrassing - but I know for my time, my Mom had me looking like a doll...I'm thankful I didn't walk around looking like a total moron until I was old enough that she couldn't stop me. You don't even WANT to know.